When I got food poisoning on vacation I texted my friend (who had just had back surgery) that I was going to do some crazy beach sacrifice in the morning so bad things would stop happening to us. I mean honestly, who gets food poisoning on vacation? Me! Who goes to Florida in March to weather 30 degrees below normal? Me! I felt like I was in this mode of screwing up over and over and over. Work stuff, personal stuff. It felt like karma had a vendetta against me.
I’ve done this before. I remember when I was trying to get pregnant and every month I stared at that negative pregnancy test, I thought if I just do this right or that right, or make this sacrifice or that sacrifice I would get pregnant. Like I had bad luck, but if I could just figure out the right steps, it would all work. Not true. I needed the right doctor to make the right diagnosis and poof! I was pregnant like that. It was in my hands all along, I just needed to make it happen.
Monday night I was scrolling through my Pinterest boards deleting obsolete things, reading through the pins I have and I saw this quote:
Source: Uploaded by user via Erin on Pinterest
It was like a slap in the face. Because you know what? FUCK THIS. I am a queen, I don’t need saving, and I DO HAVE THIS SHIT HANDLED.
I’ve been so tired lately, there’s just so much to be done. In case you’re wondering when you hit the wall single parenting twins, it’s at five years. I’m exhausted. But honestly? Everything is under control. Spring is coming, I know I need to see my friends more, but all of that will happen.
Sometimes you need to remind yourself that there is no such thing as bad luck. It’s you. It’s all you, it’s always been you. My future is in my hands, no one else’s.
The Munchkins 
Sister, you are singing my song. The only two weeks this year Jon has been home were when I was SO SICK last week and the week before. This week he even left on Saturday. Exhausted doesn’t begin to describe how I feel!
Although… I do disagree as this year has been particularly tough. It’s not bad luck necessarily but bad things do happen. I mean really, I will email you as to what medical things I have YET to do this year!!! Sometimes you just have to accept bad things will happen, let them pass and get back to great.