The Munchkins

Life with identical twins

Separate or Together

on April 4, 2017

I have been a staunch advocate of separating the girls since they were three. It’s really helped them be more social, to be able to make friends beyond just their twin sister, and it gives them time apart during the day. Beyond even those reasons, it’s helped them have their own identity at school rather than just be labeled “the twins”.

And yet, we have issues. One teacher does something fun and special that the other sister misses out on. A friend is in one class but not the other.

A few weeks ago when I had parent/teacher conferences I threw out the idea of putting them in the same classroom to their teachers. Unfortunately, their teachers don’t really know the other twin, so it’s hard for them to have a solid opinion. One teacher thought it would be fine, the other teacher thought they might be too competitive.

This year the girls have at least one very good friend in their classroom. Last year they didn’t, and they both had a more difficult year. Even though I know they can make friends anywhere, I worry. I feel like fourth grade might be a rougher year, and having your sister in class might be a good thing.

We’ve talked about it a few times. Caden is very much for it, Delaney is against it. No decision has been made at this point. I feel like if they’re in separate classes we’ll be fine. There may be rough patches, but we know how to navigate that road. If they’re in the same classroom will it be nonstop tattling? Or will they be each other’s biggest cheerleaders?

Any opinions out there?

3 responses to “Separate or Together

  1. Ananda says:

    B/G twins are different as same gender, but I’ve done both together and separate. Kinder the other students didn’t realize they were twins and the teacher had to do a lesson on what it meant to be a twin after multiple students referred to them as boy/girlfriend because they played together LOL. They were separate in 1 but it was HARD — same issues – totally different classroom expectations and workloads. After that i made the decision based on best teacher match. 2nd they matched best with different teachers, 3rd the best teacher for them happened to be the same. I’m sticking with that — best instructional match as their personalities are so different. In the same class this year they are never in the same table group but they do homework together and love talking about class. As the parent, it is SO much easier to be together!

    • Erin says:

      That is so interesting! In our school the work is the same. They teach the same lesson plans and have the same homework. It’s been the little rewards that each teacher does that are different and that seem to get us as not “being fair”. I may tell their teachers to match them with the best 4th grade teacher and not worry about being together or separate. I like that!

  2. […] Right now, they rarely play together. Caden will play legos while Delaney does a craft or reads. Remember when I wanted them in the same classroom? I will sob if that actually happens. (A teacher told me it’s highly unlikely so I think […]

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