The Munchkins

Life with identical twins

Tap Out

on February 1, 2016

laney second

The girls were off from school on Friday, so I worked from home. The plan was to take my morning calls at home, then run into the office for a few hours for some in person meetings. As my last call was wrapping up I asked the girls to pack a bag of things to do at the office. There were arguments, I tried to quickly squash them, and then there were tears so loud I left the call to see who was hurt. Of course no one was hurt, Delaney was yelling and Caden was being dramatic but still, ugh.

Delaney has had a rough few months. She doesn’t want to do anything you tell her to do. Shower? Nope. Turn off her ipad? Nope. Go to bed? Nope. Pick up her room? Nope. It’s exhausting, and her tears and nonstop arguing have exhausted both Caden and me. After the latest dramarama I realized we needed a break from each other. My dad was coming up to watch their hitting clinic, and then we would all be at my brother’s on Saturday for a fish fry. Perfect. She could spend the night with my parents, and Caden and I could have some quality time together.

At our holiday party I talked with a coworker about the drama that goes along with girls. We agreed it was exasperating and she said her husband steps in to deal with their daughter. I don’t have that. There is no one to say “Your turn!” I mean, I guess I could ask Annabelle, maybe she could get through to her?

Her drama centers around two things. She either tries to prove that I don’t love her, or she tries to prove that I love Caden more. We’ve talked about how you can be mad at someone but still love them (no you can’t, according to her logic). I’ve told her just because I’m telling her something she doesn’t want to hear doesn’t mean I’m yelling at her (not true either according to her logic). At this point, I mostly remove myself from the situation because I know reasoning doesn’t work, and I know anything I say will only enrage her more. It’s a difficult balance. I want to be there for her because it’s clear she’s working through a lot of emotions, but I don’t want to add fuel to the fire and it seems like anything I say is wrong.

Friday evening Caden and I cuddled on the couch and ate chocolate chip cookies and watched our shows. Saturday morning we had a peaceful breakfast! Caden even commented on how nice it was without a crabby Laney. She got all sorts of attention from the cashier at Trader Joes, and we arrived at my brother’s house refreshed.

I’m trying some different tactics. Something has to work right? If nothing else, in a month when they turn eight I’m hoping for some sort of upswing. I’ve also realized I have to take better care of myself. My energy has been low all of January, which doesn’t help any of us. Hopefully some sunshine and maybe some exercise and some evenings out will bring about change in February.

3 responses to “Tap Out

  1. Chloe Chesla says:

    Laney sounds so much like me, it is crazy. I can remember these same fights with my mom growing up. Good luck!

  2. Grammy says:

    This pretty little girl was an angel Saturday morning. Just needed a change of scenery?!

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