The girls have always been fairly equal in all things. Even if one figured out a skill first, the other mastered it quickly. They are both smart, they are both athletic, they are equally uncoordinated. I knew a time was coming when things would become noticeably uneven between them though.
Delaney is in the gifted and talented program at school. Her test scores were borderline last spring, but her scores this fall pushed her in. Caden missed it by just a few points. It’s once a week, and I have tried not to make a big deal out of it, but it obviously comes up. Yesterday Delaney came home and said that she was part of the ‘Green Gala’. Every day each student in her class gets a dot for their behavior that day – green, yellow, or red. Delaney has been green every day and so were two other kids. They got to watch a movie and eat lunch in their room with their teacher I think? She was super excited about this. Caden immediately started crying.
She thinks she isn’t special, she thinks she isn’t smart. It’s incredibly sad. I told her that she is special and smart, no matter what her sister does. Those two things are not tied together. We also talked about being excited for Delaney, and these opportunities she has right now.
Not an hour later, Caden came in the kitchen and showed me that her tooth was super wiggly. Somehow it had become wiggly without us noticing. Delaney immediately started getting amped up because Caden had lost one more tooth than she had, and this would put her two up. Within 30 minutes Caden had her tooth out. And then the tears started.
I had the same talk with Delaney that I’d had an hour earlier with Caden. It made me chuckle a little to do this twice in one day, especially since Delaney was trying to be oh so empathetic when it was Caden who felt slighted, but when she was down two teeth it was a whole different ballgame!
That afternoon a friend posted a Louis C.K. quote on Facebook that was about this exact situation. He ended by telling his daughter “The only time you should look in your neighbor’s bowl is to make sure that they enough. You don’t look in your neighbor’s bowl to see if you have as much as them.” I love this, and showed it to the girls and we talked about it. It’s a pretty big concept for 7-year-olds, but we’re working on it.