The Munchkins

Life with identical twins

Calling all Introverts

on March 5, 2015

I’m an introvert. When I tell people that they are often shocked because most people assume introverts are incredibly shy people. Not true. Introverts are sometimes shy, but often we aren’t. But, we definitely behave differently in social situations.

I’ve never been someone with a full social schedule, but I didn’t realize I was an introvert until a few years ago. Reading the book Quiet was incredibly eye opening for me and made so many things in my life make sense. I stopped fighting things that I felt like I should be doing, and started embracing the things that I really needed to do to protect my sanity.

My parents are both extroverts, so they don’t always get my need for quiet time, but they’ve learned to just let me be. Smart phones are amazing because I can just dip off into the world of candy crush or instagram for a bit when I need some quiet time.

One of the things I’ve been struggling with lately is recovering from the exhaustion that results from my every day life. I’m in a bit of a perfect storm where I have two very chatty seven-year-olds that yearn to tell me their every thought. Work right now is back to back meetings, and if I’m not in a meeting someone is in my office talking to me about something. I have about two hours in the evenings of quiet time to myself, which I need to recharge. When my client was in town last week it was two days of nonstop socializing. A little more than normal? Yes. But the level of my exhaustion on Wednesday was stupid. Everyone kept asking me “What’s your deal? Are you drunk?”

I feel like I used to be able to do life – work, be social, have fun. Now, by the time 8:00pm rolls around all I’m ready for is sitting on the couch. Dating? Forget about it. Going out on a Saturday night with my girlfriends? Can’t even comprehend it. I want to see my friends more, I want to date, I just can’t quite figure out how to make it happen. On the flip side, I’m a social enough person that I could never work full time from home, or hermit forever. I need the social interaction or I go a little stir crazy, but it’s always such a balance.

So here’s my question. Introverts, as you’ve gotten older do you notice you need more recharge time? Or is it more the having older kids that requires more recharge time? Are there any tricks you have for me?


7 responses to “Calling all Introverts

  1. Amanda says:

    I think you and I are in the same boat – it’s probably why we only see each other a couple of times a year. 🙂

    Joel has been traveling all week, and though I miss him, it’s been so nice to get up and workout, eat whatever I want for breakfast, leave for work when I’m ready (instead of worrying about everyone else), come home when I’m done with work instead of having to rush to make dinner, eat leftovers or eggs or whatever I want for dinner, watch whatever TV I want, take long baths, read magazines, etc. One night this week I went to bed at 8:45!

    Last night I had dinner plans with co-workers, and while it was super nice, it was SO HARD to get motivated to go outside and drive to the restaurant. Given my druthers, I will always choose to stay at home with a good book and my pets!

    Lately I have been trying to get out and do more things. I’ve been in MN for 18 months and there are still so many things I haven’t seen or done. One method that seems to work is this – if I see an event that looks interesting and the calendar is open, I IMMEDIATELY buy tickets for it. This locks me in. Once I’ve paid money, I’ll go, even if I might feel crabby about it the day of. I never regret it once I’m there, though.

    • Erin says:

      Ha! Yes. During the week during the winter, leaving the house to go meet people feels so hard! Although this summer my plan is to book a babysitter every other Tuesday to force myself to get out and do things. Although maybe that will just push all of our togetherness into a few months!

      • Amanda says:

        I love your Tuesday night plan! We should do some family pool days this summer, too. Claire will live in the pool if we let her and she loves hanging out with your girls.

  2. Laraf123 says:

    I do not have any tricks but boy, can I relate. I always needed recharging time but before children that was easy to come by. Now it’s near impossible to find more than an hour here or there. Right now, I’m hugely disappointed because the boys have a school “thing” tomorrow night and I’d been promising myself a night “in” all week.

    • Erin says:

      So true. Before kids I had me time at the gym while I ran, then me time at night when I would watch my shows. No wonder I was recharged all the time! I find I can do one thing at night during the week, but when it stacks up and we have three or four things (which was last week) it absolutely wipes me out.

  3. Scott Grunst says:

    I have been told all my life that I am an Introvert and that an Extrovert is the goal of successful people. For years this made me feel inadequate and I thought I needed to change to compete in this “new world”.
    Well, I enjoy my solitude and I don’t need the constant interaction and attention with others to make my journey complete. It took me 40 years to realize this and to finally feel content with myself. Don’t be swayed by the Introverts mantra that you are not full filling your promise. It is just their way of justifying their over bearing nature to dominate and control.
    Be yourself Erin and your life will blossom.

    • Erin says:

      I read an article a year or so ago about how they are more and more introverted executives and how successful they are. I do think there is a bit of a change going on in upper level management there (or at least I hope so, although 3 out of my last 4 general managers have been extroverts). But, sometimes I feel like I will never be super successful because I’m horrible at networking. Any event that requires me to introduce myself or talk to people I don’t know horrifies me and I’ll do anything I can to get out of it.

      Power to the introverts!

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